Fine you Win!!

So,since I'm not moving up to school until the 30th, and people(two) kept convincing me to write. I decided I will keep this thing updated until August 30th and then you shouldn't expect so much. I have too many thoughts in my head and no one where to record them anyway. I could put them on facebook but then I would probably be harshly judged, not to mention my mother would probably think I was emo or trying to kill myself. So let's try to keep myself for causing another scene that I don't need. I know if I'm on here I have very few viewers,the ones that do view-know not to take me too seriously.

Today is my Grandpa's Birthday, he is 75. He's spent the whole day crying over my grandmother's dead presence. Even if a person does it a million times it's still hard to see. No one someone is suffering and there's nothing you can do or say to take away the pain. Though I can kind of relate after being ignored for the second time and being used as a make out buddy, I can't say I relate completely. She was the love of his life that died. Dag didn't die. He's still alive even though it hurts alot because I let myself care,he's not dead. I know I said I wanted him to die truthfully I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I think thats when you know you truly care about someone is when they die and you find yourself so lonely and barren. When you spend 20 or 30 years at least without departure. I want to find a love like that.

It is hard to get over someone but not impossible. Actually self talk helps alot. I did today when my friend texted me who's also friend's with Voldermort(Dag's Nickname), texted me something about him. It was some menial thing but still it made my breath heavy. But then I just remembered that it was for the best and if I truly I would want him to be happy. I felt better it was weird. I'm sure there'll be lots more guilt and what not, I mean it is me. That's my weakest flaw I let myself care too much.But I know I can do, I have lots of friends who love me.

Lindsey OUT.