Weird

Usually I'm down with love obsessed with getting my very first kiss but lately i've been finding myself sickened with the thought. Its just it doesn't make any sense I'll be leaving next year anyway.. well I might anyway.I don't want to rope myself into a relationship only to leave them hanging. Today I stood in the mall and a watched a couple hold hands it made me want to throw up. Seriously what's wrong with me? Normally I would be jumping up and down cheering them on. Imagining about my future husband and I doing the same. It might have something to do with this guy no I don't have feelings for him he's in 8th grade for goodness sake but he's really nice, it'd be so cool if he could be my guy friend. Then again every guy I try to friend almost always likes me. It may sound nice but trust me its no piece of pie I almost never have feelings for them. Another problem with this guy friend he's touchy feely he hugged me today. You see I'm not a huggy person I hate clinginess yuck. 

I can't just be like "Don't hug me I'm allergic" No that'll hurt his feelings. The only time I like hugs is when I'm drenched in tears. No you don't hug because your happy unless something amazing happens to you like getting engaged or something. If he likes me I'll have to reject him and look like the villain again. Ok hopefully I'm just being paranoid! To top it off i've been praying to god asking him how I should feel about a certain situation because I'm so confused. I've been doing a really good job with not telling anyone except maybe Jessie knows. Maybe I'll post it someday on my blog, I kinda like bottling it up for once.

Lindsey

Interpersonal Communications

Long name I know. I had just finished finals and I was siked to start my new classes. There was one on my schedule called Interpersonal communication. when Ms. Volbrect first told me I would be taking the class my senior year the first thought that came to mind is that we would learn how to communicate with deaf people or with the blind. Or we would be able to talk work situations or something. Today I walked into the class there were two people not including the teacher Mr. Vandong. The kids were Matt and Jeff. Matt was dating a freshman from our school who's reputation wasn't exactly good. She had gone out with someone who was now in jail for statutory rape. Matt was badmouthing him when I got into the room. Jeff the other boy who was a punk/player call him what you will. When Mr. Vandong handed out the syllabus I was surprised  when I read our main premise of the semester would be learning about relationships mostly romantic type relationships.

Our teacher began to ask who was in a relationship Matt only raised his hand. I of course am still single and Jeff had been with this other girl that went to our school but I believe since his hand stayed down on the desk. Mr. Vandong made some jokes about Matt and his relationship with Brittany something about the lobotomy. It was pretty funny. Yeah not what I expected for the name was the class but it could be interesting. It had the phrase Sexual intimacy on the sheet so wonder what that will be about? I've really only been intimate with one person and that was only holding hands. Ok besides dancing because that doesn't count you could dance with your sister and it would fine. Well one person did try to kiss me once but I wouldn't let them because I wasn't ready. So no I haven't had my first kiss yet, I just want it to be special I want it be the right moment with the right person. Is that so wrong?

Lindsey

what my big mouth does...

Happy second cold day everyone. I hope the first one was a hit. Did the us. went shopping with my sister out to eat you know. So you're probably wondering why I called this blog "What my big mouth does..."? Well its simple really as the two on here know me as can't keep a secret share everything Lindsey. So yesterday something bittersweet happened. When I say bittersweet I don't mean something horrid or so awesome, it just kinda went both ways. 

There's this guy at my school his name is Ryan Lehman well lets just say he's not really christian. Last year me and my friend Alisa cornered him about going to church. Once I heard him and a girl debate why Jesus was at fault for being crucified on the cross. My walk with christ has changed alot lately I've learned not to live with the temporary things but to look ahead with god, this happened after going to districts a youth conference. Its a really long story basically I decided to quit reading Misery by Stephen King because I didn't think it was a good book to start my walk with. The problem was Ryan recommended the book to me so thats kinda a slap in the face to him. Yesterday I told him on facebook why I quit, I told him it would make me depressed and god would not want me to be like that. Well he didn't exactly understand and said some uneasy things. Well me being... me blew up in his face. I called him judgmental and told him to get over it. I also said something that at times I felt god was all I had.

After that I felt horrible blame it on PMS if you will but that was no excuse for yelling at someone. I called Kayleen for advice she told me to apologize.  I had planned to write him a message  saying I shouldn't have blown up like that and I was sorry. When I got home that night I found he had written on wall apologizing himself. I still wrote him a message saying I shouldn't have done that and all that. To my surprise again in my inbox I found a message I had a right to defend what I believe in. I believe this is God's doing because yesterday after the big blow up I came to him and asked him for advice also. I guess he decided to help me out instead and for that I fully owe my life to him. I always did owe to him but now it is makes it more right. So Ryan isn't a christian I still think it is cool that he understood that I love God.

in Christ's love

Lindsey

Cold Day!

No school!No school! Because we have a cold day! Finally we get the closest thing to a snow day in Fall Creek. Like I said numerous times mother nature does not like Fall Creek school. But luckily after 8th hour yesterday the announcement came on that Fall Creek would be canceled tomorrow because of the freezing weather and possibly Friday. So thats why rightnow I'm writing another blog instead standing there daydreaming in gym. last night Jessie, Allyisa, and Alisa all came over we basically did nothing. Apples to Apples, Trivial pursuit, and fooling around with my Dad's camera while Alisa wacthes TV.

Yeah it was pretty fun. Now I sit here just typing away getting ready to do homework and maybe write in my dream journal. You see earlier in the summer I started a dream journal then stopped writing in it because I was simply lazy. Now I just began to write in it some more and BOOM holy dreams. I've had one every night this week, just last night I had one where there was something wrong with my throat. So my mom as evil as she is made me take this stuff that makes you gag it out. Here I was gagging into a sink as the inside skin of my throat goes into the sink and it bleeds now, as she tells me it's okay its supposed  to do that. Oh and then she asks me if I would rather throw up. She was being sarcastic but it was a creepy dream ok?

Lindsey Jo Mickelson

Not Again!

Funny story. I forgot my password again! So I had to reset it again! Frustrating I tell ya. Hopefully the next time I write in here I won't forget it again. I guess I'll have to write on Blogspot more often huh? So about my life? Nothing has changed I still hate my school except for Creative writing. By the way finished my story And I don't usually say this about my work but I LOVE IT! Its called "everything that you ever wanted" yes I got the title from a Hawk Nelson song it was the only place I could find a name that fit the story. Its about a girl named Nora who life is all too ordinary. The funny thing is Mr.L  loved the kissing part take that Heather. Maybe if I feel confident enough about it I'll post it on here.

Lindsey