Usually I'm down with love obsessed with getting my very first kiss but lately i've been finding myself sickened with the thought. Its just it doesn't make any sense I'll be leaving next year anyway.. well I might anyway.I don't want to rope myself into a relationship only to leave them hanging. Today I stood in the mall and a watched a couple hold hands it made me want to throw up. Seriously what's wrong with me? Normally I would be jumping up and down cheering them on. Imagining about my future husband and I doing the same. It might have something to do with this guy no I don't have feelings for him he's in 8th grade for goodness sake but he's really nice, it'd be so cool if he could be my guy friend. Then again every guy I try to friend almost always likes me. It may sound nice but trust me its no piece of pie I almost never have feelings for them. Another problem with this guy friend he's touchy feely he hugged me today. You see I'm not a huggy person I hate clinginess yuck.
I can't just be like "Don't hug me I'm allergic" No that'll hurt his feelings. The only time I like hugs is when I'm drenched in tears. No you don't hug because your happy unless something amazing happens to you like getting engaged or something. If he likes me I'll have to reject him and look like the villain again. Ok hopefully I'm just being paranoid! To top it off i've been praying to god asking him how I should feel about a certain situation because I'm so confused. I've been doing a really good job with not telling anyone except maybe Jessie knows. Maybe I'll post it someday on my blog, I kinda like bottling it up for once.
Lindsey
2 comments:
I know it's cliche' to say, but I *think* I know a little of what you're going through.
One of the biggest things in my life lately is trying to figure out who that special person is God has for me. It's very frustrating and confusing, but the nice thing is that at the end of the day, I know God is in control. Just rely on Him. He'll get you through.
Thanks Kevin do agree god we'll get us through anything it just takes a little longer than we think it will. I try to trust him its just so hard sometimes I just want a definite answer but I don't think it works that way. oh well.
Post a Comment