As you see I'm in a real good mood right now. So yeah here goes....
1. My Grandmother died- I don't know why this upset so much, it just did. Her death seems to haunt me.I keep remembering that morning waking up seeing on facebook that she was dead. I remember going to her empty apartment after, seeing my Grandpa but not her. Smelling the smoke,going in her room expecting to see herself and not seeing it. Seeing my father suffer these couple months and knowing there's nothing I can do or say to make things better for him.Half the time I wonder if he even misses her. If he does he doesn't show it, why should he she was so sick to begin with.
2. Kim left and never returned- One of my good friends Kim went back to Ohio to surprise her family. She was supposed to come back in two weeks. We were supposed to spend the 4th of July on the beach having a picnic, we were supposed to go to Geek.kon in September the three of us Kim, Alisa, and me, we were supposed to get drunk on Alisa's 21st. Kim smoked pot and her jackweed brother told on her. I guess she forgave him but I don't know still seems wrong.I don't know I just feel like this vital piece of my life seems to have less meaning. When Kim was around things seemed lighter. If i was in a bad mood as long as i was around her I was in a better mood.
3.Dag dumped me- Well pretty much, to me when a guy doesn't want you anymore its pretty much a dumping. Apparently he liked me but just wanted to be friends. For guys that's code for "yeah I don't like you anymore," I'm not saying I was in love with the guy but I did care about him alot. It was really hard for me because he liked anime. I love anime I still say its one of the reasons I'm still alive. I couldn't use as an escape every-time I watched it, it reminded me of him. Except for D.Gray Man I never knew his opinion on that show, so it was ok. I can't forget the way he touched me and Oh boy did he touch me, and I really wish I could because I can't get it out of my head.
4.Bergbraders are moving- A family that has made a deep input on my life, especially Jessie. It's just going to be so different without her. I guess I can still text and stuff but somehow I know it won't be the same. Its been hard for me the past couple months for me with her. Mostly because I've kept stuff from her to protect her. Just recently she found out about the religion. I know that was hard for her too because even though I kept from her she saw it coming. That's another thing about Jessie she can read me like a book. I know I disappointed her deeply by walking away from god, but It was something I needed to do.
So thats my list of my how my summer went from really good to utterly bad. Yeah depressing as it is, that's how it went. Sorry I will try to post less depressing things.
Lindsey
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