4 a.m

Its an hour before I have to go to school so I write again. I realize I write in here almost everyday I'm sorry for that but I have so much to say. I'm saying you have to acknowledge all of it most of it is crap but it could be interesting I've changed alot in this past year. Mostly I've learned that Christ heals any broken heart it just takes alot of time. James 1-2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds.

So today I woke up at four 3:57 to be exact. I had no idea why god would choose to wake me up so early or why I couldn't sleep last night. Ok well maybe I had a little idea. I didn't know what to do so I prayed our youth pastor always told us if he woke real early he would pray. Thats what I did. I've been using the word confused alot and asking god alot of questions. Sometimes I don't know weather he's telling me to go for it or just ignore it. I figure if I keep telling its not true it won't be. Then there's this guy at my church WHO I DO NOT like I'm just frustrated. We used to be kind of awkward friends now not so much. I'll admit it might be partly my fault. I've said some really stupid stuff to him and yes this is the guy I met at the football game that I embarrassed deeply. I also told him if ever needed any to talk too... well you know the rest. He's a guy what did I expect him to say "Ok thanks your so sweet Lindsey" lets face it they have different minds then girl's do. Though he didn't have the nicest response it was expected for a guy.

I just hate when people ignore me I'd rather they spat in my face. Atleast the problem would have been confronted. At the youth group super-bowl party we were fighting. I told Jessie to tell him to shove it. Boom another slash from Lindsey Mickelson folks. anyway I kind of want to go to school so I can just stop thinking about it.

Lindsey