Today was twin day, I was twins with Alisa. And the whole day I was thinking about my "distraction" and first I was all happy and giddy inside because It just felt good to have positive thoughts towards a guy. Then halfway through the day I started to feel this guilty feeling twinging at mt heart. It was saying this was wrong and its not right to Ian either. I mean he probly doesn't feel the same way its not fair to him to like him when he dosen't like me and believe me I can tell when people like me. As I was saying its also wrong to chase someone who does not want to be chased. Not like I would ever chase him but still he dosen't like me its not fair. The only person I told about my "distraction" was Kayleen in confidence. Unfortunately Jessie found out anyhow (like she always does).... well she asked. At first I said no but then I decided to tell her truth because the last time I lied she didn't like it too much.
I told her over facebook and I thought at first she felt uncomfortable about it. She sounded annoyed or uneasy about. But after school she talked to me awkward disscussion Here's how it went:
Jessie- hi Picker (don't ask)
Lindsey- hey
Jessie- Excited for tonight?( nudges me) oh I bet you are.
Lindsey- (I blush)shut up!
Jessie- what you should be excited!
Lindsey- Jessie I don't want to go just because of that reason.
Jessie- why not!
Anyway it went on but I think you get the awkwardnisity. So anyway not really excited to go tonight. I know I'll freak out if he dosen't even talk to me. But like I said I don't want to be that girl. Thats why I'm not going for only for him. Anyway I'll tell you how it goes either tomarrow or tonight.
Lindsey
1 comment:
ah, who is this person you keep on talking about that you like, is it someone i know from your church?
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