Happy 4th of July!

It's finally here! Firworks! Good food! Family!You name it I bet the forth has it... The burning question is what am I doing on the forth? Well rightnow the twins are over well rightnow there in Augusta with my mother at a quilt show. But the point is they were here and they will be later. Later we are (as in our family) supposed to be going to the Kristufek's for firework's. I still think thier kind of weird but whatever.

So I wanted to apologize for my last entry. I realized after I wrote it I had gone a little too far. I'm sure you didn't want to hear about my freaken love life. Sadly to report I will probably be sharing more aka whining. Anyways I'm tired and I feel extremly nauses so I'm going to take a nap.

Love
Lindsey

My new laptop

Hi, Hows everybody doing today? Well the two people who read my blog anyway. so finally I'm typing on my new computer,yes a laptop. That's how you spell laptop right? Because if it isn't please correct me. If you have read my couple of last entry's you've probably noticed that my grammar isn't perfect. I guess what I'm trying to say is I suck at editing things but I think I'm a pretty dang good writer. Back to my new laptop it comes a equipped with a webcam that'
s pretty awesome. Also I got sims 3 because let's face it that game rocks. So life with a new laptop is a pretty good life.

Well as much as I hate when people publicize thier love lives. example A. E Taylor Swift a.k.a Joe Jonas break-up suck it up Taylor it happens btw still love your songs. I guess I really shouldn't be talking seeing how I got dumped over the phone and was pretty bitter over it. Anyway the big risk I was going to take was telling Nekoda hubbard how I felt. That's right he's the guy I've liked for a while he's mick. He was the guy at the football game who acted offensive when I claimed he wasn't my boyfriend. He was the guy who asked me but I said no because I was scared. So sunday I was going to tell him how I felt but somehow someway I couldn't go through with it. Could it be because he was avoiding me like fire does? Or is it because he's always around his guy friend? Or is it because I'm simply scared? I'd go with all three. In the morning everytime he'd walk by me I'd say something like ooo look at those pretty flowers, Kayla are those new glasses?, Or you can't forget the classic That was a funny joke Jessie. Both Jessie and Kayla were rolling their eyes at me. What can I say I'm just a coward. I could have told him at Youth Group but for some reason the words couldn't come out. I was on the same team for the game but everytime he stood next to me all I could do was stay silent. I think one time he did try to talk to me he said little and simple. All I said was " I'm sure you'll have fun." Wow really Lindsey. I know he doesn't like me back but atleast by telling him I would feel better. And if I keep staying in this little tight bubble I'm going to go INSANE. I swear I can tell everybody else besides him heres all the people that know Kevin, both my sisters, Rachel,Kayla, Abbie, Jessie, Chris Spang, and Braxton. Maybe he'll read this and then hey he'll know. Right just someone choke me now. Anyway I better simmer down because I break the computer.

Lindsey

Woah thats not me!

Yeah that's right. We need to keep Lindsey away from all energy drinks.  You see Today is Sunday today I am supposed to do something brave and take a risk by doing... something. Yeah not going to say what that thing is maybe I will someday but for now it stays quiet. Anyway so yesterday  Saturday morning to be exact I decide I'm really nervous so why not take the edge seriously thats all I wanted to do. NOT a good idea. I get a vault, okay so heres the right time to drink a vault  when you have finals and have no motivation to them or when you have a cold and you are at a concert. Now I became a crazed lunatic  I was laughing at everything probably not saying the most sensible stuff. It got worse so I got tired around 11:30 great at-least I'll be able to sleep now. Wrong because I woke up around 2:00 got a text message from Jessie we texted for like an hour couldn't go back to sleep after that. Not that I wanted to, Mp3 player attached to my head for the next three hours as I prance around the room. It finally dies around 4:40 so I decide to try to lay down and go to sleep. I don't fall asleep until 5:00 but I wake up at 6:00. My head feels really light almost as if it is a balloon. My body feels numb just like I wanted the only bad thing I feel nippy.  You know how sometimes you can tell when you're crabby? You just feel mad even-though nothing bad has happened to you. The people you're around it seems as though everything they say is offensive to you. Yeah that was me and my parents who have been really great to me lately. First I bit off my mother's head but actually I said that to her " Bite off my head why don't you?" She just kind of stood there starring at my dad like ok. Then I did it again but in my defense she was kind of being pushy. Thats when I realized I'm going to crabby today because of lack of sleep. So yeah Drinking that vault was my own mistake, I can't blame my insomnia on somebody else. I kind of felt like a selfish princess which is basically what I am. But really there's a nicer side to me I can really be a good person sometimes anyway. So I don't know if I want to take a risk when I'm in a bad mood like this. I'm afraid I'll say some really mean things. Wouldn't surprise me if I did.

Being crabby only happens to me sometimes but when I am you do not want to be around me. so after my attacking of the rents I went up to my room and started to of course punch at my punching bag. It actually felt pretty good but then I remembered I should probably go to god in times of anger. So I started to pray about it and ended up finding this verse it made me laugh.  I can't find it now but I'll be sure to let you know what it is if I see it again. Only god knows the real me and as long as him and me are together I'll be alright. Everything is possible through god.

Love

Lindsey

Grad Day!

Annoyed at the moment. Because I'm using my sister's laptob and the mouse clicks really oddly and the whole network is slow. Basically her whole laptop sucks but shhh don't say anything I'm just an accessory. The sad thing my sister you know Green so she won't buy a new one for a long time. So yes today was day. The day where we got our diplomas and said bye bye icky school. Cliche I know but so true. Today had gone better than I expected I thought it would be hectic with my grad party. But my grad party had gone shorter than expected it only went untill six so I quickly opened my presents the best one I got was the new coldplay cd I requested it, yea still have yet to listen to it.

So he 'Mick' came to my party. I talked to him alittle not much but a little he was a little reluctant because I had aproach him. I don't know where things are going to go I know god will handle it though he can handle anything. This morning I really had a scare Mick wasen't at the ceromony so I started to freak out the way I do. Earlier this week I highly considered telling him how I felt but Mr. Vandong made(forced) me not to. This morning when I saw he wasen't at the ceromony I thought I had to tell how I felt. Sometimes when someone isn't there you feel the need to tell embarresing stuff happens with me alot. But he came to my party then I couldn't tell him how I felt. He was being all awkward and I felt like I couldn't breathe... 

Graduation Eve!

The night before graduation its kind of exciting. After summer I have to figure out what I want to do. As much as I hated both Middle school and high-school it was my safe place to hide. I didn't have to make money on my own because I had my parents support and I had to go to school. Now that I no longer am on a controlled schedule I have to figure what I need to do next year to be independent. I'm both scared and reluctant. I'm reluctant because there's this guy will just call him Mick because I don't want to reveal his name just for secrecy. Well Mick kinda asked me out but I said no because of our age differences now Mick and I are avoiding each-other. So I am hoping will Mick will be at the ceremony to tomorrow also maybe at my party but if he's not there then I'll try to talk to him on Sunday.

Jinx

 One of favorite authors is Meg Cabot. One of my favorite books by her is called Jinx. For anyone who's read already knows its about which-craft,no I don't believe in it. Its a fictional book I know the difference between fiction and reality. I don't even read it for the black magic I read it for the romance. I'm a sucker for romance and Zack (the guy in the story) ,kind of have a book crush on him. I've already rented and reread the book TWICE. So I figured why not buy the freak-en thing. I got the book because lately with my luck with love has not been the nicest to me. Last summer I had this book give me this feeling where I believed I would fall in love someday. It's been my dream for a while. So I got it so that it would cheer me up about this whole love thing.

The other-night I prayed for god to show himself to me and he did. At first I was afraid because when my best friend did this she got into a car accident. But what he did was amazing so I know he is with me. Even though I'm going through a little bump with 'Ask me out' guy yeah he's only said one word to me since and it was bye. I was going to apologize to him on friday but then I decided if God wants us to be friends again he'll let it be, I shouldn't force the issue on him. Though I still think about him ALOT I know God has his own plans for me.

Lindsey

Life only gets better from here!

I couldn't think of a better title. I wanted something to do with all the excitement thats been happening in my life lately with graduating and all. So in the past week I have been asked out by a fifteen year old, figured out it was all a ploy to boost his ego ( at-least I think), and now I'm just trying to finish up senior year. See I have to build a model of the golden gate bridge for World history. Plus I have to do a report on Muscle Dystrophy oh fun! So about this guy yea right-now I hate him why would you do that? Ok maybe I don't know the story maybe he does like me I just don't know. Even then it doesn't matter because I'm matter so I guess I'm protecting my heart by doing this. Because its been broken before and I'm just trying to cushion the blow, that may be wrong but I'm doing it anyway.

I was going to let him win but after talking to a teacher about it in confidence he told me not to do that.By not going to the thing I'll be going to tonight I'll let him know that I'm suffering so I decided I'll go! I can always can evil and pretend to kill in my mind. Anyway sorry I couldn't write very much kind of in a harry there's so much to do..

Lindsey