Stupid!!

Thats what I am stupid. Last nights game did not go well for me. Well It wasen't like I got shot in the heart or broke my leg that kind of bad. I just completely embarrassed myself infront of a bunch of people. First my friend pulled her knee out of her socket whicth was bad for her not me. So she left the game early TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL. Here comes the embarrassing stupid part. I ran into Necoda a guy from church he asked if he could walk around with me I said yes. See I started to tell him I didn't think his sister liked me stupid. Because a couple weeks ago his sister asked me if I thought he was cute. I said he was like a little kid cute not cute cute. Now she thinks I like the guy, she once asked me if I was jealous because he got a girl's number at nationals. I was not jealous I was happy for the guy, it was cool ok?

So then I told him because she thought I liked him and I told him I didn't like him. Wow next stupid thing I did. Did I even consider this guy might have feelings? Not for me I mean you would have to be pretty insane to have feelings for me. But I mean he could be fragile. What if he thought I meant I didn't like him at all? Or what if he was hurt that I talked to him about his sister. He probably really cares about her and now I'm disscussing with him how she "suposedly" hates me.

Numero 2 stupid thing that happened, we contined to talk untill walked by Corinda and her gang. She summoned me to talk her for a mintue. Yeah she asked me if he was my boyfriend, oh yeah and he heard. I said no he's just a friend from church. We continued to walk I was laughing about this now the only thing was HE WAS NOT. Then somebody else asked " is he your boyfriend?" qustion. Megan's(can't spell last name) mom asked because Alisa's cousin wanted to know. Alisa remind me to kill your cousin when I get to school Monday. Then Megan's brother started saying we would start as friends and then fall in love. I reassured them we were just friends and not in the nicest way. Again with his feelings! I probably made him sound like I didn't want to be with him because he's a horrible person. He's not I think Necoda's really cool and now I probably lost his friendship. He was gone after that and he avoided me the rest of the game. He didn't even make eye contact. I feel so bad why me god? Why me?

Yes, Ian was there did he talk to me? No infact I was invisable like I am at school. I walked by him like 5 thousand times. I thought about saying hi but I didn't want to look deseperate. Jessie who is actually normal said hi to him because she's not afraid like I am. Oh forgot to mention the fact that I lied to Pennie about still liking Ryan because,I didn't want her to know I like Ian now. Yeah what if she mentions it Jessie? I've already lied enough to Jessie she is not going to be happy about this. Me and my stupid mouth why can't I just put on mute the rest of my life.

Lindsey